Lessons and Cautions on Body Language

(image credit)

(image credit)

Our nonverbal messages definitely matter a lot, as Holly Ellyatt relates in 7 Things Your Body Language Is Telling Your Boss:

Body language and nonverbal communication can have a big impact on your professional life and can ultimately make or break a deal, business relationship or even your financial success, according to a legion of body language books.

"In business, one of the most important things is the impression you give people," Eliot Hoppe, an author and expert on body language, told CNBC.

In its communications, Western culture tends to focus on the content and precision of what we say.  Non-Western cultures, such as Asian and Middle Eastern, pay attention much more to body language and context (i.e., situation, position, and relationship).  So while the former is low-context specific, the latter is high-context specific in its communications.  Put differently, in Asia or Arabia, who you are, whom you know, and what position you occupy can "make or break a deal" for you.  In the US, the merits of what we do and what we say are the key.

The main caution I offer, however, is to avoid simplistic or pat interpretations about what a certain body gesture or posture means.  What Hoppe shares is vital information, but I sometimes cringe at generalized advice like this one:

For most parts of the world, a handshake in business is the norm and just from that you can get an idea if the person is being dominant and aggressive or passive.

In the Middle East, for instance, an Arab man make shake your hand in a friendly manner and may appear reserved otherwise.  But whatever dominance he intends, if any, can be muted or hidden altogether.  Furthermore, there is sociocultural protocol that you do not shake an Arab woman's hand, unless she initiates the handshake.  So "For most parts of the world" is a key thing to keep in mind.

To Hoppe's point, in the US, we probably can tell a lot about a colleague's personality and intentions by his or her handshake.  But the variance of meaning may be relatively wide here, too.  One friend stands about a foot taller than I do, and his handshake is like a vice grip.  Yet, he's one of the friendliest I know, and I tease with him about his handshake and other things.  Over time, I've come to conclude that he's simply not aware of his own size and strength, but otherwise his strong handshake does not mean desire for dominance or aggression.