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| James Caan (right) |
Top Tips To Being a Great Mentor is quite sound and succinct, as James Caan speaks to the essentials of mentoring effectively. I comment on the four provisions that a mentor brings to a relationship.
Patience
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, we find an adage I've done my best to abide by: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Before mentors can advise effectively, they must take time to understand what it is they ought to advise on. Indeed this takes patience and listening, and probably asking a lot of questions and verifying their understanding of the colleague's issues.
Honesty
I believe in honesty, and I also being in sensitivity and discretion. Downplaying or dismissing the truth is a disservice to the colleague, yet how that truth is conveyed requires a good amount of empathy on the mentors' part. They must listen not only with their ears, but also with their repertoire of senses (e.g., sight, feel). They must discern the issues, while also sensing the person behind these issues. Mentors must call reality for what it is and see things as they are, but the colleague's readiness matters a great deal as far as being able to call and see it as well.
Positivity
Absolutely. I've trained and coached managers on the notion of speaking positively, even when it's about something negative. What does it mean, and how can mentors balance this? To Caan's point, it's about being encouraging and focusing on solutions. For example, I've mentored young managers who aspired to become CEO. The likelihood of this, for him and others, is rather small. But instead of diminishing his aspiration or tamping his enthusiasm down, I worked with him on what he needed to do and what he could do now. I let him know that it's a long journey and there's no guarantee he will become CEO, even if he did all the right things. But my efforts were to help him say on track vis-a-vis his aspiration.
Focus
Sometimes mentoring will meander. Sometimes conversation goes on, and either mentor or colleague wonders where it is going. First, as Caan emphasizes, the focus is on the colleague. Second, as long as both have the purpose and objectives of the mentoring front-and-center, then the occasional meandering may simply speak to what I call the colors of conversation and in this respect it may strengthen the relationship nicely. As mentor, I often check within myself: Are we fundamentally moving in the right direction, and are we engaging well in order to allow for progress?
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